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The Process of Setting Boundaries

We’ll come back to this in more detail in Topic 3, but I wanted to introduce it now because I’m a believer that a journey of learning is more worthwhile when you know where you’re headed!

We’ve talked about what boundaries are and why they’re important to establish and communicate with other people, but before you do that there is one important step…


Setting boundaries starts with the self. You can’t establish a boundary that you haven’t already agreed with yourself. It’s difficult to communicate a boundary if you haven’t yet allowed yourself to believe you can or you don’t believe that you deserve to have this boundary.

Watch the below video (or listen to the podcast version) about how using your core values and overcoming feeling selfish helps you feel permission to set boundaries.


Once you’ve agreed it with yourself you can then communicate that boundary with someone else. To do that, I’ll be helping you to sit in the discomfort that can bring.

Here’s an overview of the setting boundaries process that we’ll  cover in this course. We’ll also be applying empathy to all parts of this process.

Which part of this process do you find the most difficult?

Bring to mind the boundary you are working on and for each step, rate out of 10 how comfortable you feel (1 being not at all, 10 being very confident). Note down your reflections for each.