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Dealing with Discomfort

If setting and communicating our boundaries was easy, you wouldn’t be here doing this course and there wouldn’t be countless numbers of articles and videos online to help you do it.

Understanding our own boundaries and being able to uphold them with others requires work. Part of this is understanding them in yourself – what’s important to you and what your personal limits are. But beyond that, boundaries are difficult because expressing our needs can be incredibly uncomfortable.

Read this article about why boundary setting is so uncomfortable and tips for how to communicate them in a way that’s aligned with who you are


Setting a boundary with someone opens up the possibility for all kinds of uncomfortable emotions. Such as:

  • Guilt – we feel bad if honouring our own needs inconveniences others
  • Shame – we worry we’re not good enough or deserving enough to ask for what we want or need
  • Vulnerability – we can’t control the reactions of others and whether they are going to understand and be empathetic. This can feel very exposing.

Watch this TED talk about the purpose and power of unpleasant feelings


Watch the video below by Farrah Storr, Editor-In-Chief of Cosmopolitan magazine. As she explains, if you never step outside of your comfort zone, you’ll never discover the person you could become.


Learning to sit with and accept the uncomfortable emotions that arise when boundary setting will help you stay true to what’s important in the face of conflict about your boundaries and help you feel more confident in setting them in the first place.

How will you deal with discomfort when it arises?

Write down 3 actions you’ll take to deal with the uncomfortable emotions that arise when setting boundaries.


TOP TIP: Bookmark this page to come back to and give yourself a confident boost next time you are dealing with the discomfort of setting a boundary.