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Healthy Relationships

Evidence from both UK and international-based studies suggests that the transition to parenthood can negatively impact the parental relationship.

Supporting healthy relationships among new parents: A practical guide has identified a range of factors that have consistently been linked with a decline in relationship quality and satisfaction during the prenatal, postnatal and early parenting years.

Factors include:

  • financial stress
  • parenting stress
  • parental depression
  • anxious adult attachment (characterised by uncertainty and insecurity) or avoidant adult
    attachment style (characterised by difficulty with trust and intimacy) of at least one parent
  • reduced time spent with partner
  • low father engagement
  • impact on family functioning

Early Intervention Foundation (2023) Supporting healthy relationships among new parents.

You can read this whole guide at the bottom of the page as an optional activity.

All families are different and the relationships between family members can be complex. Sometimes conflict can occur within families and relationships can become unhealthy.

Parental conflict is different to domestic abuse. Nobody should experience domestic abuse where they feel threatened or unsafe. Conflict can be part of a normal relationship. Parental conflict might include shouting and arguments, parents not speaking to each other and break down in communication. It may include parents being disrespectful to each other and problems that do not get resolved. When parental conflict occurs, it can and most often does impact on the children in the situation. 

Domestic violence can increase during pregnancy due to changes in relationship dynamics, heightened stress, and feelings of insecurity or fear in the abuser. The pregnancy may trigger jealousy or anxiety, leading the abuser to assert control through violence. Societal pressures and traditional gender roles can also contribute to escalating abuse, putting both the pregnant person and baby at risk.

The following toolkit has been developed by Women’s Aid and explores the impact of domestic abuse on early parenting and the development of infants. The toolkit also outlines a model of support for those working with pregnant women or women with babies and very young children, who have been impacted by domestic abuse.

Stop and reflect: the following questions encourage you to think about your role, approach and impact in supporting healthy relationships among new parents:

– How do you identify and understand the key strengths and challenges in the relationships of the parents you support?
– Are you aware of the influence of cultural, social or personal factors on how parents approach their relationship and roles?
– What tools or techniques can you draw on to help parents navigate common relationship challenges during the transition to parenthood?